Stoop Dreams

Yes everyone, she fell and she couldn't get up (my mother that is). At 2am this morning, my slumber was interrupted by my mother's familiar high-pitched cackle, "FREDDY!" [10 seconds delay], "FREDDY!" It would appear that Freddy (my father) did not hear the S.O.S call from his loving wife; as he was most likely sleeping on his "good" ear.

I quickly jumped up, forgetting my glasses, and called out to my mom, "What happened?" She replies, "I fell." Low and behold, there she was, lying on her side by the front closet. I said, "Mom, pray-tell, how did you come to be on the floor?," and then I looked into the living room and saw the answer for myself. My mother, being the inpatient insomniac she is, decided to dismantle the Christmas/Holiday tree (whatever the hell you wish to call it), in the middle of the night. And, because she didn't want to wait until the morning to put the ornaments back in the boxes, she decided to climb the stoop ladder and get the boxes herself. She lost her footing (probably because she was smoking or knitting at the same time), and fell to the ground. Mind you, during this interaction between me and my mom, my dad was still asleep.

I went to my dad's room and poked at him (because saying his name in a loud tone wasn't working) until he jumped up. He was informed that his beloved was on the floor, and how she came to be there. We returned to my mother and made sure she could wiggle all of her piggies. Having discovered that mom was not terribly hurt, we laughed (not mom, but dad and I). Dad and I helped mom up, and dad told mom to go to bed. And, she did ... but not before she lit a cigarette and retrieved a glass of Pepsi. She wonders why she can't sleep at night! Maybe because she pumps herself full of stimulants until the wee hours of the morning.

In any event, mom decided to go the hospital this morning, and found that she had broken her elbow. The doctor provided her with a sling and two prescriptions (1 for Motrin and 1 for Vicodin). Mom has decided to only use the Motrin (yeah, I know!)

Moral of the story kiddies: When you fall and don't hurt yourself too bad but the doctor prescribes Vicodin ... YOU TAKE THE DAMNED VICODIN!