I'm starting to believe that Florida is the 7th level of hell, my friends. Now, I know I exaggerate sometimes, but I think I'm on to something here.
Weather - The intense heat does something to the mind, y'all. Then it rains for 5 seconds, and stops. And, sometimes it rains on one side of the street, and not the other. That ain't right! (Let's not even get into the horrible hurricanes).
Disney - The devil is always trying to tempt us, so what better way to trap us in his midst than with fun, fun, fun! Something ain't right with those Disney characters: They're always nice (something is definitely wrong with that). Then they have a bunch of princesses that were wronged in some way (abused as children, poisoned, drugged, etc.,) and they are still happy. Excuse me? Are the churros they sell around the park filled with Prozac? Let me find out the b*tch that poisoned me is living in the same place as me ... someone's getting shanked!
Men - I've never dated a Floridian, but a very, very close source of mine has, and says (essentially) that Floridian men are "special." And, I'm not talking "I can name all the states alphabetically" special either. Apparently, these dudes swear they are the cat's meow, and have the amazing skill of saying one thing while doing another. They say they want to be exclusive, and are fine with a long distance relationship. BUT WAIT! Your ass gets on the return flight home, and their on the celly saying, "I don't think I can do this." Then you shouldn't have suggested it, ass.
Heat, fun & games, and men who do a bad job of lying ... something isn't right down there. It must be the devil's doing, no?
In any case, if Florida really is the 7th level of hell, then Donatella Versace, and the skeletal figure at her side, hold dominion over it!
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
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While many dog breeds prefer to be in a place with a large yard for frequent exercise, there are many dogs that acclimate quite well to apartment living. For most pure breeds, you can get the records of their bloodline from registering authorities or the AKC.
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