If you're a huge celebrity gossip junkie, like myself, you've already heard the latest news: Brad & Angelina are expecting a new addition to their family (and luckily, this one won't need UN approval to enter the country). I'm happy for those crazy kids; they seem like a nice couple, and they definitely consider family a priority (either breaking-up, or building, one. But, who am I to judge?).
Lets' explore that question, shall we? "Who am I to judge?" Well, I'm a concerned American; therefore, I have a right to judge. That's my explanation, and I'm sticking to it.
My concern is not for Brad - he's had problems with commitment from the get-go (Exhibit A: Robin Givens (yes, I'm just as surprised), Exhibit B: Juliette Lewis, Exhibit C: Gwyneth Paltrow, Exhibit D: Jennifer Aniston). Did we really expect any of his relationships to last? I think not. So, chick-hopping is a natural activity. Plus, he needs something to do in-between the crappy movies he's been making (have you seen "Troy"?)
My concern is with Ms. Jolie -- Girl can't seem to find a man on her own. The only man she found on her own was her brother, and that was at an unfair advantage because he was in the next room. Ms. Jolie snatched Billy Bob Thornton while he was living with Laura Dern. He left one day to make a movie, and POOF, never returned. That is messed up! Same thing with Bradley. He left Jennifer at home one day, went to make a movie, and we all know how that ended up.
I'm not putting all the blame on Angie and her hypnotic vagina, because Billy and Brad played their parts too. But, something must be said when a beautiful and intelligent woman participates in homewrecking activities (more than once). It's a pattern, honey. Was she not hugged enough? Did she mistake them for poverty-stricken Third World children, and attempt to adopt them? Why Angie! Why! Explain it to us, please. Okay, I'll give you Brad Pitt - who wouldn't want to land that man (despite "Troy"), but Billy Bob? There doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason. And, what makes it worse, is that she never speaks. Have you heard her voice lately? I haven't. Does she do all of her hypnotizing with just her coochie and some perfume? If the answer is yes, then the b*tch needs to write a book and share the knowledge. I'd love to just spritz myself with some Donna Karan Cashmere Mist, and let my coochie do the talking ... it would save me a lot of time and effort. Of course, my coochie wouldn't be talking to anyone up in my neighborhood. Go Angie - you're my new hero! (For the day, anyway).
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