While watching television today, I saw a Western Union commercial that featured several squirrels mugging a man. Yes, yes, quite amusing ... until it happens to you!
Mind you, it wasn't my wallet that was stolen, it was my lunch - but, does that make it any less frightening? I think not.
It was a lovely day in Philadelphia, and I decided to have lunch on Temple University's main campus. I bought my favorite sandwich from the Bagel Hut, and a bottle of Snapple Mint Iced Tea (I might be the only person who likes that flavor, but I digress).
I took my lunch and sat at a picnic table. I cracked open my bottle of Snapple, and enjoyed half of my sandwich. It was when I was about to eat the other half that it happened ... a huge squirrel casually climbed onto the picnic table and stood before me. His nostrils flared, and his eyes were right on me. He looked from me to the sandwich and back again. What could I do? Risk getting rabies? This b*tch was close. One false move, and I was going to be the biggest friggin' acorn ever scored by a squirrel. So, I slowly got up from the table and called my sister Sissy on my cellphone. "Girl, I just got mugged by a squirrel!" She laughed, as my sandwich got manhandled by a rat with a furry tail. Not too long after, another squirrel came out of nowhere to help his friend finish the meal. My Snapple was still on the table; I thought about getting it, but was too afraid. I thought, "They're squirrels, they can't drink from straws." But, until that day I didn't think it was possible to get mugged by a squirrel, so for all I knew they were capable of anything.
1 comment:
Squirrels ARE rats with longer tails. They are conniving bastards. Haven't you ever seen the commercial where they maliciously plan the accident of an unknowing motorist? I also read that some squirrels are actually addicted to crack.
Sorry I laughed girl - I didn't know the severity. Only when Jeremy ran up the path because one was chasing him did I realize that they have an agenda.
Post a Comment