Ding-A-Ling ... Mary Kay Calling!

Attention People! I'm selling Mary Kay products! That's right, I've been suckered in ... but that is fine by me, because I love me some make-up and I love me some skin care. Mary Kay has good stuff ... trust me, I would never promote crap (I think that should be my tag-line).

Any who, if you're interested in perusing the selection, go to my MK site: www.marykay.com/corrinenovak, and sign up. My site takes credit cards too!! And, if you're interested in having a facial/skin care/product preview party just let me know. Think about it, you could have this blog in your home in person, for your entertainment. Who else can help make your skin pretty AND make you laugh? The pickins are slim, my friend. I suggest you jump on this wagon while you can! Yee-haw!

Goya ... Oh, Boya!

Yesterday I became the proud Godmother of Madisyn, the gorgeous daughter of one of my bestest friends, Naisha. The ceremony was held at a Pentacostal church in Brooklyn. Naisha isn't a member of the church, her grandmother is, but she wanted her daughter baptized in a private ceremony, so she decided to have it there.

Before we arrived at the church, Naisha warned me, "This is a real Black church. I don't think you've seen one of these." And, she was right. People were shivering, people were shaking, tears were being shed. It was deep. Definitely won't find that at the local Catholic church in my neighborhood. God forbid you clap at something the priest said, Sister Mary Ellen will have you escorted out in a heartbeat.

Any who, the ceremony was set to begin, and in the blink of an eye it was over. I think the whole thing took less than 10 minutes. But, those 10 minutes were chock full o' blog fodder, my friend.

For one, Madisyn was not trying to be held by the pastor. Uh-uh, she wanted her father and no one else. Then, it was blessing time. I was prepared to be blessed with holy water or annointing oil that had been blessed over. I was not prepared to be blessed with Goya olive oil, that was still in the Goya bottle. You read it correctly people ... it was still in the bottle. Humor me, and at least put it in a nice glass bottle. However, before my bangs became salad dressing, the pastor asked me if I was "saved." I said yes, but then I wondered ... what kind of reaction would I have gotten if I said no? I can see it now: People fainting, shivering, crying and olive oil all over the place.

Crush of the Moment

Brandon Routh


Take a good look at the new "Man of Steel" [tee hee hee -- imagine a 10 year old snickering]. Brandon is the complete package [tee hee hee] ladies. He's tall (6 feet 3 inches), gorgeous, and has amazing hair; so thick and lustrous. Do you think he uses Pantene Pro-V?

If I was Lois Lane, I would make stuff up every 10 minutes just so he could come and save me:

- Superman! I broke a nail!

- Superman! I can't find my keys!

- Superman! I dropped my pen, can you pick it up? No, face the other way ... yeah, that's it.

Superman hits theaters on June 28th. This is gonna be a good summer ladies!!

Who the hell do you think you are? The voice of God?

"Don't I look warm and cozy
in the billion-dollar coat
my fans paid for?"

It's that time of year again! Miss Streisand has emerged from her groundhog hole (which I'm sure has an interior of egg-shell white), to grace us with her "last" [wait ... wait, I'm laughing] concert. And, just like Barbra's last-last concert, her ticket prices are crazy high.

Barbra can you hear me? ... Bitch, please. You need to stop.

Stop coming out every other year with your sad routine of, "I'm shy and have stage-fright ... but I'll put on a concert for 1 trillion dollars a ticket!". Sure you have a beautiful voice, it's amazing, kudos to you. But, you are not the voice of God, so stop charging prices like every time you sing a note an angel pops out of your ass. Now, that I'd pay for!

I mean, you don't even do anything. You just stand at center-stage, wearing your tired Donna Karan gown, with one hand on a white microphone and the other on a bar stool. If I'm paying $800 to see you, you had better pull a rabbit out of somewhere. Oh, and FYI, white microphones are tacky and look like vibrators. Break a leg!

Um, Get Your Own 3rd World Country

According to the Associated Press, someone from Britney Spears' and Kevin Federline's camp has contacted the Namibian government about going there to have their second child.

Britney, please stop being tacky. There are so many other developing nations that you could pick, why go to the one where Angie and Brad just left. Come on, you're worth more than some sloppy seconds. You have a whole mess of places in South America, and Eastern Europe. How about returning to your home state of Louisiana ... they need attention too. See how fast the world forgot about Hurricane Katrina now that the next hurricane season has started a'brewin'?

Say no to Brit and KFed Namibia! For your own sakes! You don't want that type of recognition. And, when the hell did they ever donate any money to African nations? Does Britney even know that there aren't any 7-Eleven's or Starbucks there? Um, Brit, just because Starbucks sells Namibian Roast Frappacinos does not mean there is a Starbucks in Namibia.

Britney Betta Recognize

Last night on Dateline NBC the yummy Matt Lauer interviewed Ms. Britney Spears. It was a heartfelt discussion about her experiences with the paparazzi, and life as a wife and new mother. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was feeling for Brit during the entire interview ... that was until she blamed the streets of New York City for her inability to simultaneously carry a drink in one hand and her son in the other.

That's right people, Brit said that the day she almost dropped her son was because of the paparazzi (no shit), and because the streets of NYC are uneven (again, no shit). However, this was not your first time in NYC Britney. If you know the streets are messed up, you shouldn't wear long ass jeans, big clunky shoes, and carry a drink and your son all at one time. Can't one of your man-servants hold your drink? You can't be that parched, it's not like you were running a marathon.

Other than that tiny comment, I was on Britney's side. Leave her alone world! Can't you see she's going through it? Have you no shame?

Oh, and another thing, what the hell was up with her fake eyelashes? One was coming off. You have all those people around to help you, and no one told you that one of your lashes was coming off? Fire them all, girl. And, hire me. I will definitely tell you the truth. You're beautiful, I sing "Toxic" every time I go out for karaoke. I'm a fan. But please, just wash your face, brush your hair and take off that purple Brucci nail polish. I'm all for letting yourself go (you should see me on weekends), but for the love of humanity, the Courtney Love-look is soooo not working for you.

Crush of the Moment

John Lloyd Young

John recently won a Tony award for his portrayal of Franki Valli in this year's best musical winner, "Jersey Boys."

I think he's a hottie, and I'm completely comfortable with the fact that he can sing like he got his scrotom ripped off by a rabid pitbull.

Eh, this crush has a girlfriend too. Boy, do I know how to pick 'em.

UPDATE: My father and my nephew Jonathan went to see "Jersey Boys" last night. They said it was amazing, they got to shake hands with the cast and got their autographs ... including my crush of the moment!! What Jonathan doesn't know, is that I plan to steal his signed PlayBill ... hee hee hee.

"What The Hell!" of the Moment

I promised myself that I wouldn't talk about work on my blog, but I just have to vent about this.

What the hell is up with people asking me questions about shit they can read on electronic case notes? "Oh, Corrine, what's going on with so-and-so?" Gee, I don't know. Why doesn't your lazy ass point and click your mouse and read it for yourself? My title is Case Manager, not Personal Case Note Reader. What's the point of me typing the note if you're not going to read it yourself?

Can you tell it's almost Friday?

In Memoriam

Several months ago I bought a great pair of brand name shoes on sale for $15. I know!! Isn't that amazing?! They were gorgeous: Lavender and black, with a nice high heel, and classic looking. I wore them once, and couldn't wait to wear them again. Last night I decided to work my entire outfit for today around those shoes.

This morning I woke up, did my make up, put on my dress, and when I opened my shoe box I was stunned! The shoes had been devoured by my 4 month old German Shepherd, Breeze. I freaked out, but regained my composer by the time I got to work. Then it hit me ....

The shoes were in the box when I found them. Although Breeze is intelligent, I don't think she is capable of taking shoes out of the box, eating them, and then placing them back in the box with the top on. So, someone, and I'm not going to name names, but it rhymes with "Tom", must have found the shoes after they were all beat up, put them away, and never told me about their demise.

Don't think you're going to get away with this 'Tom." You think someone who watches "CSI," and "Cold Case Files," 24 hours a day would know have to cover up a crime scene.

UPDATE: I spoke to "Tom," and she denies she had anything to do with the shoes. However, her eyes were shifty, so I don't believe her. 'Tom" sits on a throne of lies! Lies, I say!

Oh my, just want I've always wanted!

I was just on the telephone with my mother, and she says to me, "Oh, by the way, someone at my job threw out a book called 'What Men Want,' so I brought it home for you. It's by the computer. I thought it would be something you'd be interested in reading."

Thanks Mom. Thank you for the passive-aggressive attempt at basically saying, "When the hell are you going to get hitched, and get up out of our apartment?!" Geez Mom, your subtly is inspiring .... no, really, it is.

Oh look! What a coincidence, someone at my job just threw out a book, and it's called, "Lay Off: The Single Girls Guide to Living with her Parents." Ooooh, looks like a real page turner!