Like White People Need Another Reason To Have A Party

Have any of you heard about the new fad? They are called Purity Balls, and they are basically gatherings where daughters pledge to their fathers that they will remain virgins until marriage.

So, in a nutshell, fathers are spending a lot of money for their daughters to dress-up, have a nice meal, and lie to them in front of witnesses.

Of course some daughters will actually honor their pledges. And those daughters are ugly ... just kidding! I'm not saying they are all lying whores. What I am saying is that when you're 12 years old, you don't know what the hell you're gonna want to do when you are 17 and confronted with Todd the captain of the football team.

A silly pledge that you read to your dad at the age of 12 is not going to matter when you have to opportunity to play "5 mintues in the closet" at your friend's house. I'm just sayin'.

Having a ball (no pun intended), in an attempt to keep your daughter pure seems a little extravagant. I know a cheaper way ... show her a picture of a vagina/penis infected with an STD. Betcha she'll be running in the other direction next time the boy next door wants to play Hide the Salami.

And what about having their sons make a pledge of purity? Last time I checked girls don't get pregnant by themselves! Why do girls have to take on the responsibility of keeping their goods on lockdown? Not fair! Not fair, I say!