Ta-Da!

This Thanksgiving holiday, David Blaine plans to wow us with his "magic" once again.

Apparently, he plans to remain shackled in a spinning ball thingee for a few days, and then he will attempt to de-shackle. All this, during a 2 day Target (Tar-Jay) sale. I guess Tar-Jay is sponsoring him or something. I'm more excited for the sale, really.

David, honey, spinning in a ball all shackled up is not magic. I know people who feel like they do that once they finally get their weekend hit of "E," and I ain't talking about the channel.

Don't get me wrong, you're good at what you do. But what you do is hold your breath, crash diet and pee through a catheter, not magic. I can hold my breath too .............................................................................................................. Oh damn, I almost blacked out. And half of Hollywood crash diets, but I won't name names ... [COUGH, Kate Bosworth, COUGH].

I kid, I kid. I wish you much luck on your new tricky. Perhaps I'll say hello to you when I'm taking advantage of the Tar-Jay sale.

PS: I love that whole "mysterious/sleepy" eye look you have going. It's very, "I come with a lot of childhood baggage, but I repress it and perform senseless acts for attention." It's hot.