Y'all know that one of my favorite shows is America's Next Top Model ... don't throw stones just yet! My career is based in hardcore reality, so when I get home I love to watch nonsense, and that just what ANTM is ... nonsense. I love it!
This season is chock full 'o nonsense in the form of Tyra Banks. Every one knows that Tyra is in every episode, but she still tries to surprise the contestants by popping up places. Bitch, please, we know you are there, so do us a favor and stop popping out of closets and from under capes. I am a big fan of capes, but please, you are not David Copperfield. There ain't nothing special coming out from under that cape other than the same old tired Tyra that was here yesterday. I wish one day when she does her "surprise" visit, the contestants just stare at her and say, "Oh, hi Tyra," and go about eating their salad. Bitch would die.
As for the contestants, what is up with them having mini-strokes every time Tyra Mail appears? Ladies, it's an obscure clue regarding your next challenge, not an invite to Jesus' Second Coming extravaganza. Friggin' breathe, read the damn thing and move on.
This season the ladies are so-so, and only a few are what I would consider beautiful. And, as usual there is always a signature bitch in the group, and this season's pick is Monique. I told JohnPaul last night, if I was on the show, I would be the first chick sent home for giving another girl a busted lip. Monique walks around like every one should accommodate her ... um, no. And, then she's on the phone with her mother, I assume, and is talking about how she is a child of God and needs to be respected. Yes, schnuckums, you are a child of God, but you're not God. Now, I'm a child of God too, so that makes us sisters. As your sister, I should have to right to put a knot in your head for saying ignorant crap. Dumb ass.
Yesterday was the make-over episode, and THE Frederic Fekkai was doing their hair. These chicks had the nerve to complain! They didn't want to change too much. HELLO! You're competing to be a model ... models do just that ... stand there and don't speak. Models are blank slates that are supposed to express the vision of the artist. Shut your trap and friggin' deal with the fact that you're hair is one inch shorter and a little lighter. If you wanted to stay the same, you should have entered a pageant. Start practicing your wave, honey.
Last episode the ladies had to do a nude photoshoot, and of course there was one of those, "I'm a lady, I don't want to expose myself, boo hoo!" Have you ever watched ANTM before? Every season there is a nude photo shoot! Did you think they would change things for little old you? Hell no they ain't! They don't care about Molly Sue and her religious beliefs, so drop your drawers, show some ta-tas and smile pretty.
Damn, this show is getting me all emotional. I need a drink now.
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