Crushes of the Moment

Hello all, I'm back from my vacation in Chicago, and must say it was Chi-tastic! I'll give you all the interesting details in a little bit. For now, I will give you my two new crushes of the moment.

It has been a while since I've had a crush, so enjoy!

Crush #1: John Legend

A lot of people say that he's gay, and since I think he's cute, he probably is.



Crush #2: Simon Baker

I was watching "Something New" with Sanaa Lathan and Mr. Baker. So, I got into the spirit of things and decided to try something new too. And, that is to actually consider a blonde man attractive.

My kind of town ... Chicago

This afternoon I'm heading to Chicago, Il to see one of my best friends, AJ.

I'm Amtrak-ing it, so you know what that means ... AJ, anything I say to you once I'm off the train tomorrow morning is going to sound mean and angry - please don't take it personal :o) It's only because I spent almost 20 hours sitting next to a stranger who smelled like cheese and looked "un-sundry" (remember that word from New Orleans?) I really need to get back into flying ... this is ridiculous.


I will try my best to blog while I'm away about my escapades in the Windy City!

People ... people who run the risk of losing fans!

If you haven't heard already, Barbra Streisand dropped the "F" bomb on a audience member because he didn't want to hear any more of her political banter and hatred toward Bushy at a concert during her 15th farewell tour.

I don't like Bushy either, honey, but I paid thousands of dollars to hear you sing like a good little birdy, so friggin' sing!

If I wanted to see political skits or hear political commentary, I would be watching Saturday Night Live and Meet the Press for FREE at home. So, take a sippy of water, cue the orchestra, and get to singin'!

When you start adopting babies like Brangelina and not having a titty-attack when your microphone isn't pure eggshell white, than we will really care how you think politically. Right now all you are is a talented celebrity that donates money to Democrats.

It's appreciated, and all, but for right now, let's just sing. Thanks, you're a peach.

Happy Christopher "I raped and pillaged an already discovered land" Columbus Day!

I know this is a big deal, I mean, there was an entire Sopranos episode devoted to it, but I feel wrong celebrating the discovery of America, when it was discovered long before Columbus and his syphilis-infected brethren arrived.

I definitely agree that we should celebrate Italian heritage because there were so many things that they introduced to this country, such as Madonna and tiramisu. But, I don't think we should celebrate a guy who was going the wrong way in the first place. What are we congratulating him for? Bad navigation skills?

What the Hell of the Moment

What the hell is up with genetically enhanced fruit? Last week a coworker brought in peaches the size of bowling balls, and today I got something in my fruit salad that could be one of 3 things: A genetically enhanced grape, a genetically enhanced blueberry, or a blue testicle.

I'm not even joking. I plan to carry the blue thingy home and show it to others.

Who is going around telling people that we need large fruits? We have so much food in this country, that people friggin' hang out at the grocery store, why the hell do we need big ass fruit?

Make big chocolate cupcakes, not big fruit.

Special Crush of the Moment

I watched "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof," last night, and let me just say that Paul Newman was muy caliente. And, I'm not just saying that because I love his salad dressing!

He's an asshole for 95% of the movie, but my goodness he is gorgeous!

Side note, this is the second Tennessee Williams movie I've watched in one week, and I must say that he was not shy about showcasing dysfunctional families. And, I mean, seriously dysfunctional.

Crush of the Moment

Last night I went to see Marty Scorsese's, "The Departed." It's a must see, my friends.

My crush of the moment is Mr. Leonardo DiCaprio. Gone are the days when Mr. DiCaprio looked like a skinny, pre-pubescent boy sinking to the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean because Kate Winslet couldn't make some room on the piece of wood she was floating on.

Today, Leo is a robust specimen! He's 32, 5'11", and the only faults I know of are that he's a modelizer, and a smoker. I'd learn to deal with the smoking real quick ... but I sure ain't taking up anorexia for his ass. So, I guess we wouldn't work out.

If you're interested in a few more calories, give me a call Leo.

Let's call it what it really is

Today's headline reads, "Rice Makes Surprise Visit to Iraq." Let's call it what it really is ... a "secret" trip to Iraq so that she wasn't shot down or otherwise attacked.

Please, calling it a "surprise" makes it seem like Condi woke up yesterday morning and said, "Let's go to Iraq and surprise our friends!"

In all honesty, this trip was probably planned well in advance and kept on the D.L.

Honey, it's not a "surprise" visit when you arrive in the dead of night in an unofficial jet, dressed like someone else.

Why is Hollywood doing this to me?

Recently a slew of horror prequel movies have been made with the goal of explaining the roots of the original movie.

Practically every one who knows me, knows how I feel about scary movies, especially The Exorcist, so they know I'm not happy about this new fad.

My question is this: Who the hell is losing sleep because they need to know how the dude from Chainsaw Massacre got screwed up enough to kill people? I guessing he was abused ... really, really badly. Can't we just assume that's what happened and move on with our lives?

I know I'm not waking up at night thinking, "You know, the original Exorcist, didn't scare the shit out of me enough. I really don't spend enough time in therapy talking about how it's affected my adult life and my need to sleep with the light on at all times. I think they need to make another one so I never have a good night's rest ... ever."

Yeah, that's what I need. Hollywood keep 'em coming. War and terrorism aren't scary enough, I need to know about the inner workings of the mind of a southern serial killer and how to thwart demonic possession. Thanks. By the way, Step Up sucked.

My Oprah "Break Up" Theory Rings True ... Again

Several months ago I had a theory, and I posted it on this blog (see Feb. 4, 2006 entry). Basically, my theory was that celebrity couples break up soon after they go on the Oprah Winfrey Show.

Well, my theory has been proven true once again because Tony Parker and Eva Longoria have officially called it quits.

We all saw this one coming, so it shouldn't be a surprise ... Oprah's energy had something to do with it, I just know it.

In any case, Eva, seriously, when you aren't married to a man, refrain from publicly talking about marrying him, having kids with him, etc. Because when the break up occurs, you look like an ass. Especially when he isn't running around and shouting you out as THE one. And, as far as I know, Tony wasn't doing that. In fact, I don't even recall hearing him speak. I just remember him standing next to you smiling. Did he even know he was dating you?

As for my theory, Faith Hill and Tim McGraw must be doing some serious praying for their relationship, because they were on Oprah several times. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you guys!